No. VIII Founded MMXIV · Season XIII

The CMI Chronicle

Official Organ of the Classic Memorial Invitational · “All The Points That Fit”
Week 7 · 2026 Season Twelve Managers, One Trophy Price: One Waiver Claim
Wadhams Posts The Week's Top Score

Ham Carves The Gyros

Sam Wadhams scored 147.5, the highest total of the week, and beat Hannan Merritt by 66.0. Tony Pollard supplied 38.5 of it, and Merritt left 47.0 points sitting on his bench.

Staff Report · The Chronicle Desk

Sam Wadhams beat Hannan Merritt 147.5 to 81.5. It was the highest score of the week and the margin was 66.0. Tony Pollard did 38.5 of it himself, which is a day's work for a committee. The next best player in the league managed 32.5.

Ham Stroker's Ejacula left 7.0 points on the bench, the second smallest figure of the week after Jeff Abbott's perfect zero. When a manager starts the right people the paper has very little to add, and this week it has very little to add.

Merritt started 81.5 points and benched 47.0 more, the most left on any bench this week. Braelon Allen scored 21.0 and Rhamondre Stevenson 19.5 without leaving their seats. Add every one of those benched points to the total and Homer's Gyros still finish 19.0 short. Merritt drops to 4-3 from 4-2 and sits ninth of twelve in points for.

Wadhams climbs to 3-4 from 2-4, three games back of the leaders. He has 817.5 points for, sixth of twelve, and has conceded 875.0, the second most in the league. That is his season in one line: scoring all year, mostly in front of the wrong people. Andy Borah is next, and Wadhams leads that one 3-2 all-time.

The Buck Stops Nowhere

Mike Littlehale beat Tim Kelly 139.0 to 64.5, a margin of 74.5 and the widest of the week. Tee Higgins returned 29.0 and Bucky Irving 28.5, and The Bucky Bunkisses were never required to do anything clever after that. Kelly had Emanuel Wilson on his bench for 23.5, which in a tighter week is a sackable offence and against this deficit was merely decoration. Kelly falls to 3-4.

Littlehale is 6-1, has won five in a row and leads the league with 907.5 points for, while conceding the second fewest. That double entry normally ends with the rest of the league proposing rule changes at a meeting nobody has scheduled. Travis Gervais, second in points for, is next.

This Week, 2021

Nobody Won At All

Week seven of 2021 ended 108.5 to 108.5, a dead heat, the fantasy equivalent of two duellists shooting each other's hats off. Both managers took half a win and the league took a long silence.

2021 W7: 108.5-108.5, margin 0.0
Rivalry Dossier

Abbott Keeps The Appointment

Matt Francis now leads Jeff Abbott 13-5 across eighteen meetings after a 109.5 to 96.0 result, Zay Flowers contributing 28.0. Francis benched Joe Burrow and his 29.0 and got away with it. Abbott is 1-6.

Francis 13-5 in 18 meetings; 109.5-96.0; Burrow 29.0 benched
Milestone Watch

Pfeiffer Nears The Hundred

Ian Pfeiffer has 97 regular season wins and needs three more for a hundred. Number 97 came by 143.5 to 105.5, Jaxon Smith-Njigba supplying 32.5 of it. The Ragtag Misfits are 4-3 and two games back.

97 regular-season wins, 3 to 100; 143.5-105.5
Result

Gervais Handles Pauza Comfortably

Travis Gervais beat Tom Pauza 143.0 to 82.5. Drake Maye returned 31.0, Dak Prescott 23.0 in reply, and Tre Tucker's 23.5 spent the afternoon on Pauza's bench. Gervais goes to 5-2, Pauza to 4-3.

143.0-82.5; Maye 31.0, Prescott 23.0; all-time Gervais 8-6
The Week Ahead

Pauza v Dudley — Pauza and Dudley are level at 5-5. Someone finally breaks the deadlock.

Littlehale v Gervais — Littlehale leads Gervais 6-3; first and second in points for, in person.

Pfeiffer v Hefferon — Pfeiffer and Hefferon stand 8-8 after sixteen meetings and settle nothing again.

Francis v Kelly — Kelly leads Francis 7-6; Francis arrives with Burrow presumably in the lineup.

Wadhams v Borah — Wadhams leads Borah 3-2 in a short and thoroughly uncordial series.

Merritt v Abbott — Merritt leads Abbott 16-6 across twenty-two meetings of steadily diminishing suspense.

The Forecast

Clear and settled over Coach Mike, five weeks of warm front, no break in the pattern forecast.

Points against continue to batter Coach Jeff's coastline. Shipping advised to seek harbour elsewhere, indefinitely.

Scattered benchings across Hannan's property, overnight accumulation of forty-seven points expected on the sofa.

Dense fog over Andy's 420Fart69 since September. Bo Nix remains the only visible light.

Duds reports intermittent drizzle and a long memory of half-point defeats. Outlook unchanged.

The CMI Chronicle · Week 7 Full box scores and career records at cmileague.com Continued on Page 4